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"In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
And where you invest your love, you invest your life"                                                                                                   I don't even really listen to Mumford & Sons but I really like this particular lyric.


BIG Guava Music Festival

Florida isn't exactly known for its music festivals but I am happy to announce that I have found an awesome festival to plan for this year that is a little closer to home! From what I understand this is the first annual festival of its kind and it is set in Tampa, Florida close to my hometown of Boca Raton. Headliners are Outkast, Cake, and Girl talk, to name a few. Tickets just went on sale and, come tax time, I'm purchasing two. Time to plan another awesome festival boogie with my husband and we wont even have to pay for a room! I am determined to make this summer the best of all summers ever in my life :D


Friendship: Impossible

I have learned many lessons and one of the biggest is that family is thicker than friends. Many times in my life I have put friendship ahead. Looking back now, where are those friends I had so eagerly push aside everything and everyone else for? I often open myself up to people and include them as a friend. You never truly know someone until they betray you. I have so nice and politely let people in, and they have turned around and stabbed me in the back. And the truth is: I need to forgive them so I can forgive myself for letting them and with that grow as a person and be more aware.                                                                             It is also very hard for me to make, and keep, friends with my attention deficit disorder. Not only is the socialization integration awkward for someone like me but to uphold such expectations to another human being whom I am not related to by marriage or blood is just difficult for me. I am no longer so easily trusting of other people. And that is a very sad and hard thing for me to be. It's especially sad when the only friend I have is my therapist. But I do say, it is much easier to cut off the outside to first make my home-life better from within.



Thinking in numbers [2014]

 I think I am ready to jump back on the blogging scene with confidence. I am not hoping for to gain more followers nor financial stability from this endevour. But simply my little corner of the internet, a place to share my thoughts and monitor my personal growth. A lot has happened to me this past year and life has not been easy for me thus far. Not that I expect much from this new year. Low expectations produce great and unexpected results! Long term goals for this year is to stick with all the projects I take on at work or school, to be truly happy and content in my life the way it is, and to gain strength in my personality and physical attributes. Other than that I would rather not set too high of expectations for myself.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Things are about to change BIG TIME. for the better. for me. For Elliot and Lilith. For everyone I care about. If there is anything I have learned from experiencing 2013 is that I need strength. I need to be hard as a rock and able to take on anything. Able to be the last one standing and the one keeping everything held up. I also learned that I am alone. Forever so vaguely alone in this whole world and I need to make sure that our children don't ever feel that way. That the rock will always be there for them. I am not just letting anyone in anymore. And the people closest to me better find a place at my side or they can just move on past behind me. This is it. And if not I really don't want to find myself dead. Life is this endless struggle of disappointment and it all comes from within ourselves, sometimes I don't know why the past is so bad and so regretful but I figure it is what put us here today. fucking fate or whatever. But while we are in it, it does a person well to keep sound.